Your correspondent’s war against the sandal is long and storied. Infographic’ed, even. Bottom line, it boils down to his belief that most fellas’ dogs are in no shape to be foisted upon the viewing public.
Especially when stylish alternatives abound.
Options of every shape, color and variety. Options that are cool, comfy and warm-weather ready. Options that do not require passersby to wish they could have the image of your buzzard talons removed, Eternal Sunshine-like, from their memory forever.
Now go forth and clad thy hooves like a gentleman.
Editor’s note: Because we love you and so do our friends at East Dane, all full-price merch you’ll find below is 10% off today through May 31st. Just use the code INSIDEHOOK10 at checkout.
The Huarache
Think of the Huarache as the sandal’s tougher older brother who went to jail in Tijuana that one time. Brawny woven leather that lets your pups breathe while still maintaining a handsome, dinner-appropriate silhouette. You don’t make a run for the border in these things — more like a cocksure stroll.
Pair ‘em with: Some light khaki linen shorts and a shirt with a snazzy print
The Espadrille
Half slipper, half shoe, all summertime ease. This rakish pair from Soludos boasts a lightweight canvas upper and traditional jute rope footbed for comfort and extra style points. Bonus: a jaunty floral print that’ll help church up otherwise understated ensembles.
Pair ‘em with: Washed-out board shorts and a loose-fitting tank
The Riviera
Inspired by the moccasins seen along Spain’s Costa Blanca in the 1950s and perfected by those who arguably know the eponymous Riv best (the Frenchies), a pair of these babies will have the ocean breeze blowing across your tootsies faster than you can fasten the top button on that knit polo we told you about while saying “You know, I do kinda look like Don Draper when he went to Italy, don’t I?”
Pair ‘em with: Some straightforward navy shorts and a lightweight heathered sweater with the sleeves pushed up
The Boat Shoe
Tried. True. A staple of seafaring men and blazer-sporting prepsters alike. But try a pair in a left-of-center hue like this washed blue and suddenly they’re anchoring your whole kit. Best part? If they get a too grungy, just throw ‘em in the wash. Bester part? The more washed they are, they better they look.
Pair ‘em with: An almost-white pair of shorts and a polo with an unexpected logo
The Basket Loafer
Think of these as the Huarache’s even older brother who digs cigars and was the one to bail ol’ Huarache out of that Tijuana clink with some suave demeanor and a well-timed bribe. Tighter weave equals more structure equals a true loafer silhouette equals your new go-to summer suit footwear option has arrived.
Pair ‘em with: A pair of chambray shorts and a Breton-striped sweater
The (Waterproof) Driver
A traditional leather driver isn’t wrong for summer; in fact, it’s totally appropriate. A little hot is all. Enter this pair from Norwegian concern SWIMS boasting an airy breathable mesh construction with a spongy, sneaker-like footbed that renders socks a moot point. And it’s 100% waterproof, so should you get tossed in the pool, your only concern will be why everyone else’s feet in there don’t look as dapper.
Pair ‘em with: Some seersucker trunks and a Brit-inspired polo
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