There’s no arguing that the word kink is subjective.
One woman’s foreplay is another woman’s “I think you should leave now.”
Accordingly, figuring out a new lover’s proclivities can be a rather touchy subject to breach. But breach you should, because women are into some weird s*it. And we’re not talking that vanilla, mass-market 50 Shades stuff either.
Ergo: we tapped 12 real, live, sex-having women and asked what gets their rocks off and what’ll have them hittin’ the door.
Brit, 33, Graphic Designer
Single and looking lightly
“Kinky: slipping a finger in the ol’ behind when I’m about to cum. No go: kinky baby talk. Ick.”
Zosia, 32, Print Manager
Single and half-assing it
“Tie me up, please. But don’t try to be my Dom or my Daddy if you are just looking for a power trip. True submission is earned.”
June, 37, Aesthetic Technician
No.
“Nothing too exciting from this ex-Catholic gal. I’m really into biting and being bitten — anywhere, really. The thing is the aftermath leaves me looking like a battered junkie at times, which is never en vogue. For that I have excellent cover-up. Good times! One thing that I could never get into is the finger in the arse deal. And I know I am alone in this — my poor, lonely arse. Every time I’m with someone new I’m waiting for that uncomfortable time when someone’s digit is gonna arrive and I’m going to have to explain.”
Otto, 35, Magazine Editor
Coupled up and in it to win it
“For me, kink is about targeted sensory deprivation or overstimulation — both mental and physical. And as long as it involves complete trust, and does not involve poo, pee or blood, most anything goes. I’ve played with guns, been tied up and left for 24 hours, f***ed men, got down in a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit, played teacher and been spanked with a 2×4 until I couldn’t stand up. But most of it wasn’t about sex at all, it was about seeing what pushing limits with another person feels like. And it feels exhilarating. Just be safe, considerate, don’t take it too seriously, and never say ‘Daddy.’”
Frances, 32, Marketing Consultant
Married and stoked about it
“Being told what to do in a dominating way is a turn on for me: rules, instructions — all the better. On the other hand, fellas have tried to get me to suck on their toes and vice versa before, but after being in too many skanky nail salons, it is just not something I am into.”
Alex, 29, Model
Got this boyfriend
“Maybe it’s the men I’ve attracted, but I’ve never had anyone try anything too outside the lines on me. Or hardly at all. Unfortunately. My boyfriend has thrown around the idea of a sex swing, but let’s just say he’s pulled out on that delivery. I like it a little rough, and I like to be tied up, nor am I afraid to hint or outright say so.”
Joni, 38, Artist
Just not going well at all
“I love to pee in men’s mouths. I do not, however, enjoy being peed on. I have only found one guy who was good with this situation and he was just a terrible person. So, that’s where I’m at.”
Nicole, 45, Dermatologist
Divorced and dating without determination
“I like to dominate men, but my ex-husband was never comfortable with it. I slapped him across the face once when I was about to climax and to date it still sends chill up my spine thinking of it. Kink is a two-way street. Give, get. Oh, and no ‘Daddy’ or ‘Mommy’ talk. The holy hell is with that?”
Layla, 31, Graphic Designer
Living happily in sin
“Nothing to do with poop or pee or blood. I also don’t want anyone taking my tampon out for me. No cattle prods, no branding. If my guy has been extra good, though, I’ll give him a ‘black kiss.’ A gay man outside a sex shop recommended I try it since the people in the shop weren’t being very helpful in my quest to do something exciting for my man. It’s a total hit. I also enjoy hair pulling, bites, slaps and bondage. Keep it simple with a little kink, but things don’t have to be too out there to heighten the sitch. It’s just fun to play.”
Laura, 33, Marketing & communications
Single, three cats
“Turn-offs: I’m not a backdoor gal. Really not an area that needs attention. It’s like ordering chicken fingers at a Michelin star restaurant — simply not as appealing as the other options. Turn-ons: confidence. I like a man that takes charge. Domination is, of course, fabulous in the right circumstances, but also simply the confidence to make a woman feel seen and appreciated and pleasured accordingly.
Also, I had a boyfriend who was into role playing. I thought it was kind of silly at first, but really got into the theatrics. The costumes and the storylines were amazing! But I’m a terrible actress, so it was challenging to come up with the characters. His imagination was such a turn on. All time favorite was the sailor on leave from WWII. So specific! Above all though, NO baby talk. I HATE that!”
Lily, 27, Marketing Coordinator
Not single anymore, f***ers!
“I’m pretty tame save for the occasional drunken sex marathon where all bets are off and I’ve apparently requested/said things I have zero recollection of (i.e., “F*** me like we’re in prison!”). The most bizarre request of recent memory was someone who wanted me to piss on them. Seriously. Like squatting over their bare chest in crotch-less underwear. I’ve dabbled in the covert shower piss before, but an undiluted pissfest is not up for discussion.”
Andrea, 30, Producer
Madly in love
“I like the feeling of being watched, but I’m not talking about an audience of 50 people. I like leaving the blinds open and imagining my neighbors peeping. Or even better, filming during a romp sesh. HOT.
NOT into it when a guy is turbo on butt play. That shit’s something you gotta work up to, literally.”
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