There is a pretty straightforward cultural understanding of how the male arousal process works: you get turned on, get an erection, orgasm and then ejaculate. Bing, bang, boom.
Surprise! It’s actually not such a simple story because some people orgasm without ejaculating at all, which is called a “dry orgasm.” Basically, you reach climax, but you don’t release semen. Some people may experience this regularly, some only occasionally and others not at all. Because bodies are complicated.
If this is something that you’ve experienced, there’s no need to feel shame about it. “Everyone’s body is different and there’s not simply ‘one right way’ to experience orgasm,” Linnea Marie, a certified sex educator, says. “Pleasure and enjoyment can still be had with or without sexual fluids.”
In the interest of knowing how our bodies function, let’s take a closer look at dry orgasms — how they work, why they happen, and the interesting difference between an orgasm and ejaculation.
What, Exactly, Is a Dry Orgasm?
Dr. Lee Phillips, a psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist, says that a dry orgasm is also known as “anejaculation, and it occurs when you climax during masturbation or sex and semen is not released from the penis.” So, you get an erection, you stimulate it, you climax and then no semen is produced. “This situation can happen while the individual is awake or asleep and can happen sparingly or frequently,” Marie says.
While it can be quite alarming if you’re not used to it, it’s not usually cause for concern. Dry orgasm is sometimes a side effect of other health issues and medication, but it’s not in and of itself a health issue.
Yes, You Can Actually Still Orgasm Without Ejaculating
And the science behind it is very cool. While typically experienced simultaneously, orgasm and ejaculation are actually two separate bodily functions. Orgasms are neurological phenomena, meaning they happen in the brain and spinal cord. This is why studies have shown that people who have quadriplegia can still possess the ability to orgasm, even if they experience no sensation in their genitals. You can even learn how to do it, to which you might ask: why would I want that? The answer: multiple orgasms.
Usually when someone with a penis ejaculates, there is a period of a few minutes to a few hours (or even days) before they can become aroused again. This is called “the refractory period,” and it’s why it can be difficult for people with penises to be multiple orgasmic. But Philips says that giving tantric sex a try could help you achieve multiple orgasms.
“You take long deep breaths [during sex], and this can keep your mind off your genitals,” he says. “If you are having penetrative sex, your breathing will increase when you are about to orgasm. Inhale and hold for a few seconds, then exhale slowly. This causes your body to relax, you will feel sensations through the body and may not ejaculate.”
This won’t work for everyone, but it could be a fun and interesting thing to try.
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Retrograde Ejaculation
You may think you’re experiencing a truly “dry” orgasm, but it could actually be retrograde ejaculation. Philips says this happens when semen is pushed back through the bladder instead of out through the penis. “Retrograde ejaculation is not normal, but it is not necessarily harmful.”
Dr. Anika Ackerman, a urologist specializing in sexual medicine, says that the most common reason for retrograde ejaculation is alpha-blocker medication used to treat an enlarged prostate. “This is not a dangerous phenomenon, but I warn men because it may freak them out to have a dry orgasm,” she says. “Some men opt not to use the medication because of this possible side effect.”
Chronic Health Issues
Chronic health issues that affect the nervous system can cause dry orgasm, as you need to have a functioning nervous system response to get an erection and produce semen. “These nervous systems consist of nerves arising from the brain and the lower end of the spinal cord, supplying the internal organs, blood vessels and glands,” Philips says. “Chronic medical illnesses such as diabetes, multiple sclerosis and spinal cord injury disrupt these nervous systems, and this can result in a dry orgasm.”
Your Reserve Needs to Replenish
Ackerman tells us that there may be a more pragmatic cause to consider. “After multiple ejaculations, a [person] may simply have no more fluid left in the tank,” she says. This means that you have a short refractory period. When you ejaculate several times in quick succession, your semen production may not have caught up with your desire yet. Ackerman suggests taking a longer break between sessions to avoid a dry orgasm, if it’s something that stresses you out.
Other causes of dry orgasms could include medications, enlarged prostate, low testosterone levels, mood disorders, a blocked sperm duct, low sperm count and cancer treatment.
When to See a Doctor
With all that being said, Ackerman says you should definitely see a doctor if this is an ongoing issue, as it could be a sign of other medical problems. Philips tells us that your doctor will “perform a urinalysis to look for sperm and check urine for fructose found in semen that is usually not found in urine.” This will rule out or confirm retrograde ejaculation.
Dry orgasms can also present a problem if you’re trying to conceive, as producing semen is an obvious must for natural conception. Your doctor may want to perform more tests and discuss your options with you.
But most of the time, dry orgasms are usually nothing to be concerned about and are actually quite common. We just don’t talk about them because we have garbage sex education and toxic ideas around what it means to be a “man” and “spread your seed.” (Gross, btw).
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