Spike in Condom Sales Suggests Hot Vax Summer Is Here

Rumors of a post-COVID sex boom have been swirling since the earliest days of the pandemic, when singles everywhere first confronted the reality that they were probably in for a dry spell of indeterminate length and began dreaming of a horny post-pandemic future. At long last, it seems that future is imminent, and increasing evidence suggests the “hot vax summer” the prophecy foretold may already be underway.

Much of this evidence has been anecdotal, such as the many (possibly dubious) tales of public displays of horniness between strangers hooking up at restaurants or having threesomes in bar restrooms that have surfaced on Twitter in recent months. Elsewhere on the internet, TikTok’s since-banned “sundress challenge” encouraged horny summer participants to lift up their skirts and engage in a little clandestine public sex.

A pub manager friend just told me that yesterday he had to kick out three customers (who did not arrive together and did not sit together) for having a threesome in the ladies' loos at 4:30pm.
— Emily G (@CuriouslyEmily) May 3, 2021

Uhhhh it’s happening. Host is escorting a couple out of a soho restaurant for bathroom shenanigans. They met outside an hour ago.
— Ashwin (@ashwindeshmukh) March 12, 2021

It’s hard to say exactly how much of this behavior is actually happening and how much is simply internet folklore, but actual, hard evidence suggesting people really are getting it on has recently surfaced in the form of increased condom sales. Acco r ding to CNN, research firm IRI found condom sales increased by 23.4% within just four weeks between late March and early April, suggesting plenty of eager hot vax summer participants were already preparing for the forthcoming season of sex in early spring. Reps from fine condom purveyors such as Walgreens and CVS also reported a spike in condom sales, which one CVS spokesperson described as “substantial.”

Of course, an increase in condom sales doesn’t necessarily prove people are actually having more sex, though it does seem to suggest they’re at least thinking about it. It comes as little surprise that people have sex on the brain, both because anyone who has come anywhere near the internet in recent months is being bombarded with a seemingly inexhaustible deluge of hot vax summer content, but also because for many singles, it would seem it really has been a while. Match.com’s 2020 Singles in America survey found that 71% of singles hadn’t had sex since the pandemic began, so for those diligent pandemic sex abstainers, any summertime sexploits will mark a long-awaited break with celibacy.

While it remains to be seen just how horny this summer will actually be, it seems the sex-crazed season we’ve been promised may indeed already be upon us. At least people are using condoms.