$100K Jar of Tom Brady Retirement Sand Too Good to Be True

Some prominent figures in popular culture famously hate sand. Tom Brady isn’t one of them. In fact, the 45-year-old quarterback chose a beach — famously full of sand — to announce that he was retiring from football, for real this time. Brady remains one of the most popular athletes alive; he is, after all, one of only a handful to be name-checked in the title of a film. (See also: Beckham, David.) But is he popular enough for someone to pay nearly six figures for an absurd piece of retirement memorabilia?

As reported by The Wall Street Journal, people have taken to eBay to sell jars of sand from the beach where Brady filmed his retirement video. That, in and of itself, isn’t that surprising. After all, people sell nearly everything on eBay. What is surprising are the prices some of them were supposedly commanding.

How much would you pay for a mason jar full of sand, some granules of which had maybe come close to touching Brady’s feet at one point? One dollar? One hundred dollars? As of Monday afternoon, at least one eBay listing attracted a bidder who placed a top offer of $99,900 for what’s described as “Tom Brady’s exact retirement spot – Bottled Sand.”

“Bid for 1 of 2 samples taken from Tom Brady’s exact retirement spot on February 1st 2023,” the listing stated. “Only 2 samples taken on the day of retirement just hours after his video was posted online. Proof in photos. You will be receiving an 8oz mason jar bottled with the exact sand the GOAT Tom Brady made his retirement video on.”

Then, after the news of the $100,000 sand spread like wildfire around social media, the listing was taken down. As of Tuesday morning, that particularly coveted mason jar is gone, along with the ridiculous bid. The reason? As a message states on eBay, “This listing was ended by the seller because there was an error in the listing.”

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So what was the error? Did the seller fabricate the facts? Did the bidder accidentally offer $99,900 when they only meant to offer $999? Did the seller make the preposterous offer in the hopes that some outlet like The Wall Street Journal would pick it up and subsequently some billionaire would bid even higher? We’ve reached out to eBay for clarification on the matter and will update if and when they respond.

Nonetheless, the listing has spawned a cottage industry of likeminded sellers of sand, as well as least one person who’s decided to parody the whole thing by selling — er — “Tom Brady’s Post Retirement Toilet Paper Bliss – First Roll Since Retirement.” Bidding for that one begins at $10,000. Currently, there are zero bids.

Will there also be a vibrant eBay market for broadcast studio carpet shavings when Brady begins his sports analyst gig next year? Only time will tell.