You Can Now Name a Cockroach After Your Ex

Here’s one for those determined to never let bygones be bygones.

You can now name a cockroach after your ex. You know, the way other people might name a star up in the Milky Way after their kid.

England’s Hemsley Conservation Centre just launched a program whereby interested (bitter) ex-lovers can “adopt” a cockroach and name it after the one that broke your heart/patience/most treasured family heirloom.

It’s a steal at just $2, and will earn you a certificate “guest pass” of sorts to come visit the zoo itself. (N.b. This is also a pretty decent gift for a beleaguered single friend … Hemsley will name a cockroach on behalf of your mate, if that’s what you’d like.)

For those who prefer their roaches this side of the pond, you can always name a Madagacar hissing cockroach at the Bronx Zoo, although their campaign is weirdly geared toward couples in thriving relationships, and at $15, is billed as a legitimate expression of love. Might want to stick to roses and a show.

h/t lifehacker