L.A.'s Best Gyms, Decoded

It’s warm enough that you’ve taken off your shirt in public by now.

If that experience was at all humbling, it’s time to tighten up. Where, though? You’ve got an ocean of options out there.

Looking for the fastest route to a slimmer waist, no frills necessary? Do you work out at weird hours? Is a decent spa requisite? Are you trying to meet a woman?

This is LA Gyms, Decoded, in which we pair 11 subsets of gymgoer with the local sweathouse best tailored to meet their needs.

To help, we enlisted Coach Kenneth Johnson, a personal trainer and instructor at Equinox. If you want to get your ass in shape fast, take one of his Whipped classes. Otherwise, pick from the options below.

For the casual boxer: Trinity Boxing Club
Trinity is a rustic, old-school sparring club located just off of Fairfax and Melrose. Great for someone looking to get into boxing, hone the skills and burn some serious calories.

For the boxer looking to actually step into the ring: Wild Card Boxing
Home to coach Freddy Roach, aka coach to Manny Pacquiao. Muhammad Ali even trained here.

For the athlete: Gold’s Gym, Venice
The Governator trains at Gold’s in Venice. It’s long been a mecca for bodybuilders and hardcore athletes. Open long hours, and if you think you’re redlining, just look at the dude beside you: he’s probably training even harder.

For aspiring Ninja Warriors: Muscle Mechanics
Ask for Ben Melick. Muscle Mechanics is a straightforward gym supplemented with some monkey bars and obstacles for the ninja stuff.

For the yogi who doesn’t want any spiritual mumbo jumbo: Joe K at Modo Yoga
“People follow teachers and teachers become celebrities in their own way,” says Kenny. Joe is that for yoga. His classes are invigorating and help bring mindfulness without the headiness.

For guys who still wear letterman jackets: Los Angeles Athletic Club
The most classic gym in town remains the L.A. Athletic Club. It’s like stepping into a time warp.

For quick results: Lock Box
These guys have high intensity interval training on, er, lockdown. Early morning and evening classes that are ideal for the busy professional who wants to see results.

For the Burners and clubbers: David Barton Gym
Club lighting and live DJs. Just watch the videos.

For the night owls: Equinox, West Hollywood
Open until 10:30pm, and there’s generally a crowd then, too.

For the guy who wants to meet ladies: 24 Hour Fitness, Sherman Oaks
Home to a lot of people who work in the, ahem, Valley. Just be sure to wipe down the equipment before you use it. Equinox, West Hollywood and Gold’s Venice are also solid. Pro tip: models and actresses workout during the day, not when the rest of us working folks do.

For the guy who wants to avoid ladies: Any Crossfit
Pro tip: talking about Crossfit all the time will achieve the same effect.