A Guide to Ferris Bueller’s Chicago … in 2016

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

The canonical skip day we all know and love, released 30 years ago this weekend (June 11th, to be exact).

Bears the question: How can you be expected to handle work on a day like today?

Obvious answer: You will not.

Fast-forward from 1986 to 2016, and we’ve got the landmarks the Bueller gang would’ve visited, the restaurant they would’ve crashed and the hallowed equivalent to Cameron’s father’s ‘61 Ferrari 250GT.

Go ahead and duck out. Just watch out for Rooney.

The Getaway Vehicle

Then: 1961 Ferrari 250GT
Now: 2016 Ferrari California T
Why: The ‘61 Ferrari 250GT is irreplaceable, but so is the 2016 Ferrari California T. Twin turbocharged V8 engine with not a bad line in sight, and handling good enough for a seasoned parking attendant. You’ll want it in prancing ruby red — top down, natch. Oh, yeah.

The Skip Day Outfit

Then: This masterpiece/abomination
Now: A (1) Lanvin Varsity bomber with (2) a pair of grey trousers from Incotex, anchored down by (3) Gitman Vintage’s Tora Tiger Camp shirt, unbuttoned to show off a (4) white crew neck tee from Buck Mason. Finish it off with (5) a pair of white suede bucks from Bass.
Why: Because all you can do is channel Bueller’s style. Do not attempt to directly recreate it, which would be akin to buying a Halloween costume.

The Power Lunch

Then: Chez Quis
Now: Chicago Cut Steakhouse
Why: Chicago Cut is not a snooty French restaurant — far from it — but it does have a dynamite dry-aged steak program and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the river, which is how it became an easy go-to for well-heeled white-tablecloth power lunches. It’s the steakhouse where suits go to close deals. And the reservation Bueller steals — Abe “The Sausage King” Froman? Doug Sohn, of course.

The Scenic Overlook

Then: The Sears Tower
Now: Tilt at 360 Chicago
Why: Because you’ll literally be able to see Cameron’s dad from here. Sure, you can head to the Willis Tower and stand on the ledge, but the John Hancock has that bananas glass observation deck that tilts outward over the city. Nothing like ostensible near-death experiences to make skip days worth your while!

The Ballgame

Then: A Cubs Game
Now: A Sox Game
Why: The Cubs ain’t the only show in town. And the Bueller of today would be smarter about time — why jet all the way out to the North Side from Downtown when you’ve got The Cell right there? In a perfect world, we’d all be watching games at the Frankenstadium, but like any true Chicagoan, we’re picking a side and sticking with it.

The Museum

Then: The Art Institute
Now: The Modern Wing
Why: Because it’s the best thing to happen to the Art Institute since … well, the movie. You’ll still find A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte in the main hall, but a 2016 montage deserves the Nichols Bridgeway and the new contemporary collection. Give ‘em your best pensive Cameron look.

The Dance Party

Then: The Von Steuben Day Parade
Now: Wired Fridays
Why: Unless you serendipitously find yourself at the German-American Steuben parade, Wired Fridays — the midday dance party at the Chicago Cultural Center — is your best bet for a raucous good time. Don’t request Danke Schoen. Do request Twist and Shout. Every first and third Friday, all summer long.

Main Photo: Paramount Pictures