The 2018 Audi SQ5 Is The Definitive Cool Dad Car

Are you a cool dad looking for a cool new ride in which to ferry your kids — who will someday follow in your footsteps and become cool dads in their own right — about town?

Look no further. The vehicle for you is the 2018 Audi SQ5.

This is an SUV with all of the things: space, power, pseudo-luxury, speed, distance, comfort. And but yet it is fun to drive, and that is the true measure of a cool-dad-mobile. (The primary buyer base? Thirty-five-year-old males. We can see why.)

On this particular trip, we took the SQ5 traipsing through the back roads of Vancouver Island, from the Oak Bay Beach Hotel to the rustic Wickaninnish Inn in surf town Tofino. (Aside: I cannot recommend this adventure jaunt enough. Should you have the opportunity, it is a must.)

We put the SQ5 to the test, and here’s why chill-ass papas should take note.

Top line: this is a performance vehicle in an SUV body with crossover power. The Audi team took their 3.0 super engine and amped it up to integrate a 3.0 turbocharged V6, good for 369 lb-ft. of torque and 354 horsepower. She’s tooling with an eight-speed automatic tranny, along with Audi’s signature quattro all-wheel drive we’ve come to know and love.

To boot, it’s 31 pounds lighter, but with all the control one would need intact. That means you fly, but you fly safe.

audi sq5 (6 images)

Now, this isn’t the cheapest crossover on the market: the starting price is $55,275. But if we’re talking new dads, hopefully we’re dealing with some fresh coin. In which case, I cannot advise enough to add on the optional S Sport package. It’s $3,000, but it ensures that — should the circumstances require — you can send all the power to one rear wheel. It means that when you think you’re f*cked, you’re not actually f*cked.

With said package, you’re also getting an adaptive air suspension that’ll take this ride from a 7-inch clearance (for added control) to a 9-inch suspension (for added off-roading capabilities). Again, this is like having a friend that will bail you out on a moment’s notice, which we can only assume a new dad might need at some point about, oh, 16 years from now.

The acceleration rate is stated to be 0-60 in 5.1 seconds. I’m not saying that they’re wrong with that number. And I’m definitely not saying I put it — or the 155 mph top speed — to the test. That would be irresponsible in a 55 mph zone. What I am saying is that if you really, really need to get to soccer practice, 5.1 seconds is, well, conservative.

Which is what confirms the SQ5 as the cool-dad car of the year. It’s practical on the outside, but, fret not, a young buck under the hood. You don’t have to give up who you are when you’re behind the wheel of the SQ5. It’s respectably wild, if you will. Just like the man who drives it.