Schoolhouse Glocks

So this basketball tournament thing is fun, right?

Reminds one of college. All those late-night ziplines and the Uzi training and vehicular assault programs …

Ah, right. Not your school.

That’s more this school: the take-no-prisoners Survival College, debuting late this spring and open for registration now.

Located in the heart of Texas Hill Country, Survival College is a training ground for urban/guerilla warfare and survival training, led by some of the top military and law enforcement instructors from around the country.

Think Navy SEALs, special ops, sniper recon, SWAT — even an Ivy League doctor/jiu jitsu master.

And some TV stars, including Green Beret Mykel Hawke (One Man Army).

At SC, you’ll learn tactical driving exercises, guerilla warfare prep, urban combat and some really fun stuff. Like “UZI: Know and Fire.” And something dubbed “shoot exploding targets.”

Featured on campus: nine gun ranges (sniper, machine gun, rifle, pistol), an archery range, driving track, ropes course and ziplines.

Initially offered as a ten-day curriculum, the college just added both day and weekend passes. Plus, the instructors claim you should be able to finish your course load in “three to four days.”

Because those cram sessions? They’re the most fun.