Oak Stone Outfitters

Hunting: it’s not for everybody.

But as a charming relative of ours once said while plucking birdshot from a quail, “Son, where do you think your regional, seasonal, farm-to-sissified-table food comes from?”

Um, The Ferry Plaza?

Funny guy. How about this: Oak Stone Outfitters, booking now for tule elk, wild boar, turkey, dove, quail and varmint hunts in Paso Robles.

This is where you go whether you’re an experienced hunstman or a 20-gauge-toting greenhorn.

Run across 25,000 central coast acres of ranchland, these private hunts include all of the niceties — scout, grub, field dressing and transpo of kills to the butchery or taxidermist — but the weapon and requisite hunting licenses are on you.

Accommodations-wise, Oak Stone offers two ranch lodges for hunting parties of one-to-twelve.

Take a gander at the size of these hulking pigs before booking, though, so you’ll know what you’re up against.