Megan Fox Says She "Manifested" Machine Gun Kelly

Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are primarily known for two things: PDA rivaled only by their celebrity couple doppelgängers, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, and saying some pretty weird things about each other. Some highlights include the time Fox told GQ that her beloved first wooed her with the line “I am weed” before allegedly “disappear[ing] like a ninja in a smoke bomb”; the time the couple announced their engagement by claiming they drank each other’s blood; and, of course, their shared insistence on describing their “dark fairytale” of a romance with language straight out of Twilight fan fiction.

In a recent interview with Glamour, Fox has once again gone on the record to share some truly bizarre information about her relationship, this time more or less taking credit for Machine Gun Kelly’s entire existence. According to Fox, she “manifested” her dream man — whose real name is Colson Baker — at the age of four.

“He’s literally my exact physical type that I’ve been manifesting since I was four,” Fox told the magazine. Right, because, as my colleague Bonnie Stiernberg put it this morning, who among us wasn’t fantasizing about tattooed dirtbags at age four?

According to Fox, the fact that she apparently began dreaming about tattooed dirtbags — no disrespect to Mr. Kelly, of course — at age four is no coincidence, considering the four-year age gap between herself and the man of her manifestation. “I’m also four years older than him. So, I think I made him,” she told Glamour. Yes, that’s right: according to Fox, she willed her soulmate into existence as a child. If it weren’t for Megan Fox, there would be no Machine Gun Kelly. And not only is she responsible for his existence in the first place, but she also made him the man he his today.

“My thoughts and intentions grew him into the person that he is,” said Fox. “Who knows what he would’ve looked like or been like if it wasn’t for me.” (Please keep in mind that Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly only met two years ago.)

Listen, anyone who has ever been in a relationship with even the slightest of age gaps has, at one time or another, played some version of the “I was a living, breathing human who was doing X while you were just a fetus” game. Personally, as a woman in a relationship with a 26-year age gap, I rarely tire of reminding my boyfriend that I was in fifth grade when he was going through his first divorce as a father of three, or that he probably didn’t have a date to his junior prom because he still had to wait another 11 years for me, his soulmate, to even be born. This is probably pretty annoying, sure, but I would argue it is less annoying than your partner taking credit for your entire existence.

Anyway, those two are still super weird, but if you haven’t met your life partner yet, maybe it’s because you just haven’t manifested them hard enough.