A few months ago, America decided to endorse the Dadbod.
Today, we tell you to disregard that advice.
Look instead to the Papabod.
Named for author/outdoorsman/monolith of masculinity Ernest “Papa” Hemingway, the Papabod symbolizes the physique of a man who indulges himself while maintaining a strong physical condition.
Unlike the Dadbod, which idealizes indulgence and “occasional” exercise, the Papabod champions a man who is comfortable eating delicious burgers (with the bun!) and drinking whiskey while remaining fit enough to hike up the snow-covered mountain he intends to ski down rather than taking the chair lift.
Hemingway had a considerable paunch. But he was also a consummate outdoorsman and an avid — if amateur — boxer. So his width had vim. Character. Strength.
The average Dadbod … does not.
The Papabod isn’t for everyone. You have to have the bones and frame for it (namely: wide shoulders, sturdy legs and the ability to grow a bird’s nest of beard).
Achieving it is straightforward (but not easy).
1) You need to be able to hold — or at least overcome — your booze. This is non-negotiable. A hangover is never an acceptable excuse for skipping your cardio.
2) Eat what you want, but don’t overeat.
3) Spend at least an hour a day in the outdoors. Hike, ski, fish, hunt, sail. Your activities should combine light cardio with functional strength training.
4) Join a boxing gym.
5) And grow a big beard.
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