Because life doesn’t come with an instruction manual — and if it did, men wouldn’t read it anyway — we present Gimme Three Steps, an occasional series of how-to illustrations to help you manage challenging situations with aplomb.
The 405 is full of assholes.
Just miles and miles of assholes.
They cut you off. The go slowly in the left lane. They don’t use their turn signals. They are horrible, no-good people and probably never call their mother.
So, to help you, driver, express your rectitude, we made this three-step guide called How to Scowl Properly.
Take a moment, if you will, to appreciate the scowl.
Scowling properly is a skill. Its beauty lies in its simplicity.
Wordless. Nearly motionless. Communicating both fury and moral superiority.
And if deployed properly, a scowl judges another driver, while demonstrating your own Zen-like calm and probity.
And hell, if it doesn’t work, there’s always the thumbs up.
As if to say “Good job! Go f*ck yourself!”
Anyway, enjoy the guide. And happy driving.
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