The 22 Rules of Lingerie

Know the difference between one style and another, and then know her preference. Once you know that, you’re just choosing between two equally excellent outcomes.

Maison Close Jardin Imperial Mini Thong $105, Cosabella Trenta G-String $22

You can’t go wrong with silk.

Loveday London Arielle Teddy $225, Fleur de Mal Charlotte Lace Tap Shorts $135, and bra $125, Agent Provacateur Classic Pyjama Top $385, Luna Short Slip $335

Always buy black.

Tylynn Nguyen Dormir Camisole $110

Preferably black lace, which is as foolproof as it gets.

Fleur du Mal Chat Noir Lace Bodysuit $395, For Love and Lemons Bordeaux Lace Bodysuit $198

Figuring out her size starts with a photo of your lady and a talented professional. If in doubt, feel it out.

You’re So Baby “CIA Files”

As long as the colors jibe, feel free to mix and match.

Fleur du Mal Luxe Triangle Bra $98, Evgenia Rebelle Thong $98, Le Petit Trou Blanche Garter $50

Uye Surana Alice Silk Bra $75, Fleur du Mal Satin Hipster Panty $45, Fleur du Mal Crêpe de Chine Kimono Robe $425

The ouvert panty is a frontier even seasoned lingerie vets may have yet to conquer — but that doesn’t mean they’re not willing.

Lascivious Kitty Ouvert $95, Agent Provocateur Lacy Ouvert $115, Maison Close Secret Naked Shorty $35, Luna Mae Johanne Ouvert Knicker, $137

When in doubt, err on the side of the bigger size. Also, keep things relatively mellow out of the gate — plenty of time to level up later.

Fleur du Mal Charlotte Lace Slip $295

No. 9: When it’s time to go big, go big.

Bordelle Tomoe Bodice Bra $280, Zana Bayne Nasty Choker $150

Don’t rush it, you randy git — you went through all this trouble to get her into it, she’ll be out of it soon enough.

Download this handy playlist curated by our friends from the videos and let ‘er rip.

InsideHook’s Valentine’s Day 2017 Playlist

Your dreams of a sultry boudoir photo session aren’t too far-fetched.

… As long as you ask nicely.

Boudoir by Megan Saul

Put down the smoking jackets and slippers, Hef — it’s skivvies (boxer briefs are the crowd favorite) or nada when she’s sporting lingerie.

Related Garments ‘The Stealth’ $29

Some kink is welcome in the bedroom, provided the right guy is delivering it.

Maison Close Monsieur Mask $40, Maison Close Villa Satine Harness $80, Champagne Crop $202, Tamara Mellon Love Heels $495

When regarding a woman in lingerie, one-word responses work best.

Just because it seems wacky, don’t mean she’s necessarily against it.

Maison Close Nippies Les Provocants $40,$40, Agent Provocateur Adora Pasties $115

Centuries later, the corset is still holding it down.

Evgenia Janus Ribbon Corset $188, Cosabella Metoroplis Corset $95, L’Agent Penelope Corset $241, Liviara Accusal Midnight Blue Corset $375

No need to go full Gimp, but don’t sleep on a sexy leather piece.

Fleet Ilya Classic Suspender Harness $368, Fleet Ilya Target Black Bra $381, Fleet Ilya Padlock Collar $181

A woman is much more likely to be into restraints if she is being restrained stylishly.

Agent Provocateur Crystal Cuffs $675

Removing sight from the equation allows you to experiment with touch in a way that can be prettay, prettay, prettay good.

KILLSPENCER Sleep Mask $120

Nothing edible, ever.