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In the words of Rihanna, “Women should be wearing lingerie for their damn selves,” and if Rihanna says so, then so it shall be. This isn’t meant to dissuade you from any lingerie-related purchases for Valentine’s Day, but you would be wise to heed the words of Ms. Fenty (she does know what she’s talking about). In fact, lingerie can actually make a pretty great gift — if you know what you’re doing.
Many women do like to wear lingerie, that is when it’s of their own volition. There’s something to be said for wearing absurdly luxurious undergarments underneath one’s clothes, especially when it’s unbeknownst to others; it’s like a secret thrill. Even something as simple as wearing the same colored bra and underwear makes us feel put together.
What we don’t appreciate is someone else’s fantasy being forced upon us, all under the guise of a selfless gesture and thoughtful gift. We’re women, we’re smart and we see right through you and your “gift.”
But it is possible to buy lingerie for your significant other without coming off as a total skeeve. It’s all about intention and expectation. If you buy some complicated lace contraption because it’s what you want to see your lady in, you’ve already failed — it’s about her, not you, so you’re going to have to place your own wants and desires on the back burner.
Before you delve into shopping for lingerie for the woman in your life, do your research (we beg of you). Keep in mind who you’re buying for; if you’ve paid enough attention to notice that she doesn’t like to wear frilly, lacy things, then don’t buy her frilly, lacy lingerie — it’s as simple as that. You’ll also want to figure out to the best of your abilities what size you’re looking for, so as not to buy something that doesn’t fit whatsoever. And if you don’t want to be caught rifling through your girlfriend’s panties and bras, there are plenty of safer options.
Below are 20 pieces of lingerie, of varying levels of fanciness and comfiness, that she’ll actually want to wear. If it makes her feel sexy and confident, isn’t that the best gift?
Eberjey Iona Point D’esprit Tulle-Trimmed Stretch-Modal Playsuit
You can never go wrong with black, and this playsuit from Eberjey manages to strike the perfect balance of being cute without sacrificing comfort. The tulle detailing elevates it to more lingerie-ish, but she can still wear it while she’s just lounging around the house.
Morgan Lane Lucy Heart Bra and Cupid Panty
This set from Morgan Lane is aggressively Valentine’s themed, but if you know she likes to feel festive, then she’ll appreciate the excess of pink and red (and the hearts of course). The soft cup bra and French polka dot mesh means it’s actually comfortable to wear, so she’ll be able to don it beyond V-Day. Also, we have no idea who Johnny is.
Cosabella Teddy Sheer Lace Bodysuit
Red lace for Valentine’s Day? Okay, sure, it’s a little cliché, but this Cosabella bodysuit is a nice starter piece. Plus, the great thing about a bodysuit is that if she’s feeling a little risqué, she can throw a jacket on over it (or no jacket at all) and wear it out of the house.
Araks Antonia Bralette and Isabella Panty
This set is for the no-fuss, no-frills girl. The color scheme is still on theme, just less obvious: it’s a muted crimson, rather than a conspicuous red, and the scalloped crochet trim is more magenta than true pink. Both bra and panty are 100% cotton, so she’ll actually be able to breathe — perfect for the days when she wants to go commando, but can’t.
Myla London Covent Garden Silk-Blend Satin Bra and Briefs
Somedays, your girl just wants to feel a lil fancy, even when she’s doing nothing special. The Myla London Covent Garden bra and briefs are perfect for when she’s feeling blah and needs a quick pick me up. The dusty blue silk-blend satin feels luxurious compared to her usual cotton undergarments, but the full coverage bra and briefs allow it to be worn under practically anything.
Lunya Washable Silk Dream Kit
If you’re really struggling with what to get, this sleep set from Lunya is bound to be a pleaser. The matching silk top and shorts will feel like ultra fancy lingerie, but she’ll actually be able to sleep in them. Plus, included is a silk scrunchy (to ward off bad hair days) and sleep mask, for when she just can’t bear to look at you.
Only Hearts Coucou Lola Babydoll Set
One of the more impractical options on the list, there’s no word to describe this babydoll set from Only Hearts other than cute. Included in the set are the sheer Swiss dot robe and matching thong (no bra, sorry). It’s cute, a little retro and not all that functional, but sometimes that’s what a girl wants.
Stella McCartney Knickers of The Weekend
These cheeky (get it?) knickers are a sophisticated throwback to the days of the week sets that were once popular. She’ll never forget whether it’s Saturday or Sunday again.
Lonely Hollie Stretch-Bamboo and Lace Soft-Cup Bralette and Briefs
Lonely makes lingerie with comfort in mind, and this bralette and matching briefs are no different. The briefs are cut in a retro, high-waist silhouette, meaning they’ll look flattering on all body types, and the lace accents and antique-rose coloring lend it a delicate, feminine feel.
Agent Provocateur Rozlyn Leavers Lace and Stretch-Tulle Underwired Bra and Briefs
When you think of lingerie, especially lingerie for Valentine’s Day, you probably think of two things: lace and red. This Agent Provocateur set is the quintessential Cupid’s Day lingerie, but it’s not so out there that it’s only suitable for special occasions.
Loup Charmant Floral-Print Organic-Cotton Cami Top and Briefs
Granny panties (yes, granny panties) are making a comeback! Yay! While it might not be great news for you, women everywhere are rejoicing due to the return of full coverage bloomers. Loup Charmant’s cami top and briefs celebrates this trend, complete with a floral pattern that even grandmas would approve of.
Journelle Natalia Satin-Trimmed Lace Thong Bodysuit
This Journelle bodysuit is … a lot, but when it comes to lingerie, you ultimately can’t go wrong with black lace. Besides, it’s just a pretty piece of clothing (fabric?) and the bow will make her feel like the present, because she’s the real gift after all.
La Perla Scoop-Neck Short Silk-Satin Slip Dress
A slip dress is a fool-proof option, especially if you’re concerned about sizing. It may look simple, but it’s La Perla, and that’s all that matters. A slip is a multipurpose thing, so she’ll be able to get tons of wear out of it; she can throw it on and lounge, slip it on for bed or even wear it on a night out.
J.Crew Nightshirt in End-on-End Cotton
Isn’t it just so cute when girls steal your shirts to sleep in, only to never return them? We know, it’s adorable, but we as much as we love “borrowing” your button downs, we wouldn’t mind this J.Crew nightshirt for ourselves either. Hint hint.
Cuup The Balconette and The Bikini in Leopard
Cuup is one of the brands leading the fight for inclusivity in lingerie, and their ethos is reflected in their products. Their bras and underwear are relatively simple, but sometimes simple is better (especially when it comes to undergarments) and more importantly, their bra sizes range from A-H.
Le Petit Trou Black Falaise Bralette and Black Brionne Briefs
Maybe you know your girlfriend actually, secretly loves Valentine’s Day, but would never admit it. Or maybe she’s a goth with a little bit of a soft spot. Either way, this Le Petit Trou set will please the girl who claims her heart is black, but is occasionally wants to indulge her girly side (without going overboard).
Kiki De Montparnasse Lace Inset Balconette Bra and Brief
This is the set you get if you know (and we mean know) that she loves to wear lingerie. Kiki De Montparnasse is not for the faint of heart, and this set is not playing around (hence the price). If she strongly identified with Julia Fox in Uncut Gems, then this is the set for her.
The Great Eros Forma Bustier and High Waist Thong
Just the thought of wearing a bustier sounds uncomfortable, but The Great Eros has managed to solve the problem with their Forma Bustier. The bustier is built more like a structured bralette and the ruched back will make it less constricting and actually allow her to breathe. Cause, you know, that’s kinda important.
HVN Lace-Trimmed Printed Stretch-Modal Jersey Chemise
What’s cuter than a cherry-print chemise? Not a lot of things, and this one made from stretch-modal jersey will make it never want to take it off. The print is playful and youthful, without being weird or anything.
Tekla Fabrics Hooded Cotton-Terrycloth Bath Robe
While silk robes are fun in theory, they provide little in the way of warmth and comfort. But emerging from the shower, you want to be enveloped by something warm, not cold silk. This old-school robe from Tekla Fabrics will make the transition from scalding hot water to the freezing air much more bearable.
We've put in the work researching, reviewing and rounding up all the shirts, jackets, shoes and accessories you'll need this season, whether it's for yourself of for gifting purposes. Sign up here for weekly style inspo direct to your inbox.