We found you a reason to go to the movies this summer.
Sixteen, actually.
Accounting for the fact that summer movie season and actual summer differ quite a bit in terms of start and end dates (Hollywood magic: they can alter the solstice!), we peered ahead and dogeared The 16 Must-See Films of Summer.
Yes, a few have big explosions. And superheroes. We’re not elitist. But we’ve also got indie horrors, classy dramas and animated sausages telling dick-and-fart jokes.
Plus: we uncovered the single best movie day, ever.
See? Magic.
MAY 13
Money Monster
Fun fact: The film apparently plays out in real time.
See instead of: Search Party. Love the cast (Adam Pally, TJ Miller, Alison Brie). Don’t love the two-year delay in release.
MAY 20
The Nice Guys
Fun fact: Channeling some prior film noir mojo, Kim Basinger (L.A. Confidential) was cast as a missing porn star’s mother.
See instead of: Neighbors 2. The first was great, but comedy sequels tend to fold.
MAY 27
X-Men: Apocalypse
Fun fact: To honor the film’s ‘80s setting, 20th Century Fox created a site filled with mutant-themed 8-bit video games. Enjoy.
See instead of: Alice Through the Looking Glass. Kind of over the Johnny Depp weirdo routine.
JUNE 3
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
Fun fact: Watch for cameos by real-life pop stars Carrie Underwood, Usher, Seal, Pink, Joanna Newsom and Snoop Dogg. Oh, and Snapchat wunderkind DJ Khaled.
See instead of: TMNT: Out of the Shadows. A Ninja Turtles sequel without Vanilla Ice? Heresy!
JUNE 10
Now You See Me 2
See instead of: Warcraft. Yes, director Duncan Jones made Moon, which was great. And he’s the son of David Bowie. But this computer game adaptation could be CGI overload.
JUNE 17
Finding Dory
Because Pixar films are for everyone. Here, the extremely forgetful blue tang sidekick (Ellen DeGeneres, kind of doing an adorable fish’s take on Memento) takes the lead, as she searches for her parents and, unsurprisingly, gets lost along the way. Take the kids, but enjoy it on its own merits.
Fun fact: Among the all-star voice cast additions: Idris Elba, Bill Hader, Kate McKinnon, Ed O’Neill, Ty Burrell and Eugene Levy.
See instead of: Central Intelligence. We like Kevin Hart. We haven’t loved Kevin Hart movies.
JUNE 24
The best movie day of the year!
Five worthy flicks open today, covering all the bases: you have historical/inspirational in Free State of Jones (a brooding Matthew McConaughey rises up against the Confederacy), a worthy blockbuster in Independence Day: Resurgence, a bikini-ed Blake Lively vs. a shark in the The Shallows, a buzzy indie comedy in Hunt for the Wilderpeople (a must-see if you liked director Taika Waititi’s What We Do in the Shadows) and The Neon Demon, a horror story involving homicidal models, courtesy of Drive’s Nicolas Winding Refn.
JULY 1
The Purge: Election Year
Fun fact: The film title and plot emphasis was actually inspired by Donald Trump.
See instead of: The BFG. Spielberg does E.T. but with giants instead of aliens. Probably heartwarming. You’ll need heartwarming in the fall.
JULY 8
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Fun fact: Loosely based on a true story. The two actual brothers pitched themselves on Craigslist thusly: “Love our mother, have seen Love Actually several times … raw, emotional, sensitive, but still bad boys.”
See instead of: The Secret Life of Pets. Wait for the Blu-ray. Watch with your kids 90,000 times.
JULY 15
The Infiltrator
Fun fact: Based on the real-life exploits of Robert Mazur, who spent 27 years as a special agent.
See instead of: Ghostbusters. Love the performers. But that zero-laughs trailer? Oof.
JULY 22
Star Trek Beyond
Fun fact: Shaun of the Dead’s Simon Pegg (“Scotty”) co-wrote the script, meaning the humor quotient should rise … and the source material will be respected.
See instead of: Ice Age: Collision Course. A fifth Ice Age film is four too many. Dig the Neil deGrasse Tyson cameo, though.
JULY 29
Jason Bourne
Fun fact: Damon’s return postponed a Bourne Legacy sequel. You know, the so-so Jeremy Renner one.
See instead of: Bad Moms. The writers of The Hangover attempt an R-rated take on motherhood — but it doesn’t look anywhere near the fun of their breakthrough film (but, admittedly, it does look way better than The Hangover 2 and 3).
AUGUST 5
Suicide Squad
Fun fact: Apparently in method-acting mode, Leto sent his castmates live rats, dead pigs and bullets.
See instead of: Nine Lives. Kevin Spacey trapped inside a cat sounds like a surreal three-minute skit, not a movie.
AUGUST 12
Sausage Party
Fun fact: Disney composer Alan Menken (Tangled, Aladdin) contributes to the film’s score.
See instead of: Cafe Society. A Woody Allen comedy marred by director’s on-going ickiness.
AUGUST 19
War Dogs
Fun fact: Speaking of ill-gotten gains, the War Dogs movie poster should remind you of another famous film.
See instead of: Ben-Hur. Maybe some Oscar-winning films don’t need a reboot.
AUGUST 26
Don’t Breathe
Fun fact: Stephen Lang (Avatar) plays the blind man in the film, who is never named (his credit is literally “The Blind Man”).
See instead of: Blood Father. Think Taken, but with Mel Gibson. Better yet, don’t.
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