“Sh*t. I Haven’t Done My Shopping Yet.”

Sir, we’re perilously close to Christmas Day.

T-minus a plate of cookies and counting.

And yet, if you’re like most American men, you still have presents to buy.

So, hark the procrastinating angels sing, we made you this: Your Last-Minute Holiday Shopping Guide. 

Inside, we suggest eight gifts and the eight actual stores where you can still buy them. 

For the old man, we’ve got a pair of sunglasses Hunter Thompson used to wear.

For the young’ns, we’ve got a freakin’ backyard zipline kit.

We even threw in some ideas for your co-workers and colleagues.

If we’ve neglected to include ideas for somebody on your list, just remember: when in doubt, liquor.

Home Depot’s never a bad idea either.

Who doesn’t need a power drill?

Or a chrysanthemum?

Enjoy the Last-Minute Holiday Shopping Guide.