“It’s Like Mating a Tank With a Jeep.”

Today, let’s not worry.

You’ll read nothing here about the Chinese stock market. Or Kanye’s 2020 presidential campaign.

Or your Sisyphean journey through long-weekend traffic.

(If you’re reading this, you’re probably off on that journey already. Good luck.)

So buckle up: we’re gonna have some fun.

*****

For starters: let’s get you something for that traffic! Say hello to the Oshkosh Joint Light Tactical Vehicle (pictured above), which marries the Humvee’s agility with a tougher skin.

As they tell it, “It’s like mating a tank with a Jeep.”

*****

For those on a more nostalgic trip, there’s the Woody.

As in, the Jeep Grand Wagoneer, which will be back in all its wood-paneled glory in 2018, almost a quarter-century after going out of production.

It’s the ultimate family car of yore, now retooled as a high-end super ute.

As long as we’re getting you a new car, you’ll need a new home. May we suggest one of the 10 most expensive U.S. homes available right now? A cool $100 million will get you all 2,538 acres of Michael Jackson’s Neverland.

Finally, celebrate your new car and land with a cigar. A Cuban cigar. Legally!

Throw in a baseball stadium while you’re at it.

Hey, it’s Labor Day weekend.

You’ve earned it.

Better roads ahead.

Kirk Miller
Nation Editor